


Inevitable

by ShipperMadWriter41319



Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-11 15:16:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11151093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipperMadWriter41319/pseuds/ShipperMadWriter41319
Summary: Set during 7x09 after the Wedding. As they danced to A Wonderful World what were Jamie and Eddie thinking? This is a TwoShot based on Eddie and then Jamie reevaluating all those little moments between them to realise that they have always known they had feelings for their best friend. 1st BB fic. Do not Own. Please Review. CHAPTER 2 FROM JAMIE'S PERSPECTIVE NOW UP





	1. Chapter 1

Inevitable

It was easy to lose herself in the moment. Eddie had never felt more at home than she did right then, dancing in Jamie’s arms. One of his hands was resting in the small of her back, holding her close, and his other hand held hers as their fingers interlinked. As his head dipped beside hers, she felt their temples touch. She found her hand flattening on his back at the base of his neck as she held him close, closing her eyes as she breathed in his comforting scent savouring the moment.

She was a fool for denying her feelings towards him for so long. She had loved him practically from day one, but she had ignored the signs like an idiot, terrified of the repercussions of her feelings towards him. After all, he was her mentor, her partner, her best friend. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. Nor could she imagine her job without him by her side. There had been moments when she should have realised and accepted that she had feelings for him. 

For example, the first time she had seen him standing outside the 12th Precinct and he had turned to her call, she had been struck by how young he looked, and also how incredibly attractive he was. As she had gotten closer it had been hard not to get lost in his beautiful, blue eyes. She had loved how adorable he was, fumbling with words; seeing his adorable awkward smile had brought forth such warmth inside of her. And over the first few days, riding with him and sitting outside that apartment protecting that guy, she had come to know him well, and by the end of their first week she really had been glad that he had been assigned to her as her Training Officer. 

The next time she could remember feeling something was when they were undercover in the jewellery store and the guy had asked Jamie if she was his girlfriend. She remembered the little glance Jamie had given her before he had looked back at Grady and said, ‘yeah’ with a slight smile slipping onto his face. His confirmation, despite it being unreal, had sent butterflies dancing in her stomach and it had been hard not to smile.

Or the time when his friend Dana had been in town. Eddie hadn’t liked seeing them kiss or how ‘hands on’ Dana had seemed with him. It hadn’t taken her long to realise that there was more to their friendship than just being ‘plus ones’ to fancy lawyer shindigs. Seeing him in the bar that night, dressed in his smart suit, had certainly opened her eyes to how attractive he was and seeing him for once in the position to talk about the law with someone who would understand it, had shown her that not only was he the kindest man she knew, but he was also incredibly intelligent.

She loved seeing more of what kind of a man he was. She longed to see more than just the man in the uniform, her best friend the cop. She loved seeing how much more there was to him… not just the front he put up as a cop. He didn’t flaunt his Harvard education to anyone. He never thought he was better than others. He was always such a modest dresser in just jeans and t-shirts when they were off duty. Seeing him in the suit for the wedding had made her truly realise that there was more. His kindness seemed never-ending and he never seemed to run out of patience.

She remembered that night of the not-so-great double date. She had tried hard to pay attention to Spencer because he had seemed so nice and he was perfect for a little bit of fun before he left the city. But playful flirting with Jamie came so easily. She didn’t even realise she was doing it until he was flirting back just as playfully and then all of a sudden she was standing beside him whilst Spencer and Hayley looked on, both slightly amused. Even Hayley had noticed the chemistry between then and told her to get her head out of the clouds and realise that she loved him when she had dragged her off to the bathroom.

“I can’t” she had protested standing in the grimy bathroom of the bar; “he’s my partner Hayley… nothing can ever happen between us… and he’s my best friend… I can’t lose my best friend should something go wrong.”

“I’m not hearing a denial of those feelings Eddie” Hayley had said and Eddie rolled her eyes “I do not have feelings for Jamie, Hayley” she said “he is my best friend… that is all.”

“You’ve got it bad, girl” Hayley had said moving to stand in front of the door preventing her from leaving “and who says something will go wrong… I mean you already spend every hour with him and aren’t sick to death of the sight of him… you spend more evenings hanging out with him than anyone else… you are always telling me about the drinks you guys have together… and to me they have always sounded more like the description of a date… you practically date the guy, but you don’t get the benefits… which you totally should. As for the issue of him being your partner… ask for a new one… problem solved”

“But I like riding with him” Eddie had said staring at her “I like being his partner… I don’t want to lose that.”

“But what if you gain something better” Hayley questioned: “do you ever think about what you are missing out on?”

That question had stuck with Eddie ever since that night. She had always wondered what future together they could be losing out on because of their stubborn beliefs that they were better off as partners.

When she had asked Jamie that very question earlier that night she had almost seen him imagine their future together and she could have sworn she had seen excitement flare up in his eyes as he had nodded, followed by an aching sadness that had been mirrored inside of her as he placed her hand over his heart and questioned “do you ever think about what we might be giving up?”

She loved their partnership. She couldn’t imagine doing the job without him at her side. She trusted him with her life and knew he would always have her back. She couldn’t imagine not spending every day with him. He made a difficult job ten times more fun. It was so easy to laugh and joke around with him and she loved seeing his smile and she loved the way his eyes lit up when he was happy.

He made all the pain and death that she had to deal with bearable. He was there for her whenever things got too difficult. He never let her down, no matter how hard she knew she could be. He made the idea of getting up every morning to a job that everyone hated her for, almost exciting. She looked forward to seeing him at the start of every shift. Even now after three years of partnership she still felt a rush of excitement when she saw him for the first time each day. She couldn’t imagine doing that job without him. But at the same time she couldn’t imagine her life without him as her partner in another way.

She thought back to the same night of their double date. He had walked her home and they had been bickering about song lyrics.

‘It’s inevitable like you and me’

She hadn’t realised how much she hoped those lyrics were true at first. She had been too lost in the beauty of his smile as he had looked at her.

She remembered being the first to make the move. She had leaned in first, emboldened by the number of drinks she had had that night. He hadn’t been far behind her and he had bowed his head to meet hers and their foreheads had met shortly before their lips.

His kiss had been sweet and gentle, his lips soft against hers as his hands moved round to link at her back, holding her close. Her own hands had moved up his chest, grabbing his leather jacket as she held him just as firmly as he held her.

All too soon the kiss had ended, but neither of them had pulled away. Their foreheads had fallen together again and Eddie had felt his heart beat under her hand. It had jumped around and it had caused her to open her eyes to look at him, wondering what he was feeling.

His gently telling her to get inside had hurt at first, but by the time she had arrived back at her apartment she had felt relieved that they hadn’t gone any further. After all, it would have totally screwed up their partnership and even though she wondered often what would have happened if they had gone further that night, Eddie was glad they hadn’t. It meant they would have missed out on all the wonderful moments in their partnership that had happened since then. She had loved the two years as his partner that had followed that kiss.

It had only strengthened their friendship and had given ample additional opportunities for the feelings she held for him to grow. But that night she had really felt something inside of her: a warmth had emerged. Since that night it had appeared regularly, but only when she was with Jamie.

And in the moment walking up to her apartment, she realised that she had feelings for her best friend and partner.

She had tried to hide these feelings that she had for him as she had watched him with other girls. There hadn’t been many, but it hadn’t meant that she didn’t feel that green-eyed monster every time he had told her about a hot girl or he had flirted and dated.

First there had been Maya, the bike messenger… that had been the first time she had felt it. Watching that girl give him her number had been hard, but she had forced a smile onto her face, knowing that nothing could happen between the two of them and she had encouraged him to call her. Regardless, she hadn’t been able to hide the smirk when she realised Maya might not catch Jamie’s heart after all.

Then there had been Dr Jen. She had been caught off-guard when Jamie had said that he had already been on a date with her. She hadn’t been able to hide her jealousy. Asking for a partner for the day had been a spur of the moment decision and of course Jamie had seen through her charade. It had infuriated her when he had accused her of jealousy, even if it was true; she hated how well he could see right through her.

It had taken a lot of guts for her to admit that she had been jealous when he had come to her in the bar. He had taken it in his stride allowing her to decide where they went from there. And the next morning when what she wanted was to have things go back to normal, he had accepted that and things had gone back to normal for them from then on.

Then she had found out about his ex-fiancée. She certainly had been shocked to hear that he had once been engaged and when she had heard that this Sydney person had dumped Jamie because he had become a cop. As he had said that she had sat there wondering ‘who in their right mind would break up with a guy like him?’ When she had challenged him about still having feelings for his ex, she had been concerned he might say he was still in love with her and that her heart might be crushed for carrying an unrequited love. He had been defensive, yes, indignant even when she had accused him of waiting for his soul mate. Now it made her wonder: was she his soulmate, as he was hers? Were they destined to be that one person for each other?

Then there had been Tara… Eddie had never felt jealously like that before. Seeing that girl coming out of Jamie’s bedroom, wearing very little clothing had her gut twisting in envy but the completely awkward look on Jamie’s face had been pretty comical. If she wasn’t so upset at the sight of another girl in his apartment, she might have laughed at his face. She had to admit: he could be totally adorable.

Consequently, she had rebelled against herself and tried to get rid of the feelings she had for him by dating others; but they couldn’t hold up to him. No one could. He may not have been her type at first but Eddie was beginning to feel like her type was changing and Jamie displayed every characteristic she liked in a guy. True for years he had driven her crazy with his annoying nickname of ‘shortie’ because, damn it, she wasn’t that short and his constant teasing about her love of food did annoy her sometimes.

However, as she had said the other night, he was the best person she had ever met. And the best friend she had ever had. After her father had betrayed her trust, she had found it difficult to open up to anyone. She had put up defensive walls around herself, determined not to be hurt like that again. Jamie had never pushed her to let him in, but he had been there for her and he had helped her bring down the wall, brick by brick, and she had found herself trusting him easily. She trusted him more than anyone else, because she knew he would never done anything to hurt her. She trusted him in a way that she had never trusted before.

She trusted him to never lead her into harm’s way to never lead her into harm’s way, to do what was right and teach her how to be the best cop she could be. He was a marvellous mentor and she was glad he had been the one to teach her on the streets. He had taught her that there was more to being a cop than just enforcing the law. He taught her how to build trust, to help those even when it went above what was required in the line of duty. He had certainly made her a better person over the years.

He trusted her too. It might have taken a while but he trusted her judgement now and he trusted her to have his back. They worked well as a team. She knew what to do with just the tiniest amount of information. Like the time they had taken down that guy with the machete. All he had to do was say “Eddie ASP” and she had known what to do. She had a feeling that if Jamie hadn’t been there then that guy might not be alive. He was protective of everyone no matter if he knew them or not.

She loved his loyalty and his protective streak. True, it had driven her nuts at first when it had made it look like she couldn’t defend herself, such as that time when he had gone after the guy who had knocked her down. She had been shocked by the ferocity of his attack. He had been so mad and it had looked like Renzulli and the other officer had had difficulty pulling him off the perp. She had gotten angry that he had reacted the way he had but she knew he was just protective. 

She knew his last partner had died in his arms after being shot in the neck and it had shaken him to the core. She knew that he was afraid of losing another partner. So she often gave him slack knowing the reasoning for his over protective nature.

Of course there were times when she didn’t mind him being protective. Such as the time when Russel Price had snatched her off the streets and had her tied up in the back of the car. She had been terrified as she had lain there, struggling to get free from her bonds fearing that she was going to die. She had fought desperately, not ready to give up on life before two cars had smashed into the one she was being held in.

Lying there dazed and stunned, she had barely been able to hold back the tears of relief and delight when Jamie had appeared in front of her, scrambling into the car reaching out to cut her bonds. She had been desperate to get out of the car, but her legs had given out on her but Jamie had been there to catch her. Looking up into his calm soothing eyes she had felt all the fear and panic disappear as she allowed herself to breathe again.

Jamie had been the one person she had been praying to see in the back of that car, and then suddenly, miraculously he had been there: her knight in shining armour.  
Her undercover mission was another time. Part of her had been frustrated that he didn’t want her to do the mission. After all she had just wanted to prove herself… just like he had when he had done his undercover mission. He didn’t talk about it much but she knew that he had been beaten up because of it and had a hit out on his life… he had had close calls and he hadn’t wanted her to get hurt. But maybe there was more to it… after all, he had admitted that he had feelings for her. Had he had feelings for her back then? Was that why he hadn’t wanted her to go undercover?

Being in that apartment with that creep feeling her up had been terrifying and Eddie had struggled not to panic as she flashed back to her incident with Jake Singer. Once again, all she had wanted to see was Jamie’s face and knowing that he was already no doubt on his way with Danny and Baez to take these creeps down had been what had kept her going.

Seeing that woman attempting to pull a gun on him had brought rage like she had never felt before rearing up inside of her; she couldn’t bare the idea of seeing Jamie get hurt and she had flown for her, seeing the relief and surprise flair up in Jamie’s eyes at the sight of her. Taking down those perps with Jamie had felt like such a natural thing to do when they did it every day together and she had calmed as she had assisted him to cuff the kidnappers. As usual, when she worked beside him, she had felt safe knowing he was watching her back.

When she had had that incident with their training officer she had felt ashamed of what had happened especially when Jamie had probed it out of her. When she had heard about him getting into it with Sargent Langley in the car she had been horrified at the thought of him getting into fights because of her. She had wondered why he had felt the need to do that when she had already told him that she could handle it. But deep down it had felt nice to have someone fight for her. It felt nice to have someone care about you so much that they were willing to stand up to their superior officer to defend her.

And earlier at the wedding even though they had agreed to only to the wedding as partners and friends, it had felt nice when he had stepped in when Derek had been a little over eager to dance with her. When Jamie had swept her away into the safety of his arms she had felt jitters of excitement inside of her, until of course the punches had started flying. Getting arrested had not been nice, but despite all the frustration she had felt towards Jamie and confusion over what to do about their situation, it was nice to know that he cared. It was nice to have someone fight for her.

And although his protective instinct was one of her favourite instincts, she also loved how calm, patient and caring he could be. Even when they had barely known each other after her assault incident with Jake Singer, he had been fiercely protective of her, encouraging her to come forward. Even when she had been furious at him for going through her phone when she had told him to drop it, she had appreciated how he had stopped her from going after Singer. And hearing him tell her ‘you won’t be alone’ had made her stop and truly realise that he was going to be there for her and she didn’t have to fight her battles on her own any more. She had a friend who would support her no matter what. After she had arrested Singer he had taken her out for ribs at Anton’s and he had hung out with her all evening to make sure that she was ok. But he had never allowed her to feel like less of a person. She was his partner and nothing less.

After her first kill he had held her all night whilst she had cried. She loved that she felt comfortable enough to let down her walls around him. His gentle yet firm embrace hadn’t wavered all night and she had fallen asleep curled up against his chest. When she had awoken he had still been there, holding her comfortingly as he had promised.   
She remembered how much she loved the security of his arms. She loved his loyalty, not only for her but also for his family.

She didn’t have any brothers or sister so it was great to see his relationship with Danny and Erin. He clearly loved his brother and sister even if he did complain about them regularly. He talked about his niece and nephews regularly with affection in his voice. She didn’t doubt that one day he would make a great dad. He had rushed over to Nicki’s college as soon as she had called him and Eddie had willingly gone with him enjoying watching him play protective uncle. He was so kind and caring and it had felt nice to help him out with one of his problems after he had done so much to help her.

And watching him find out that Nicki had a boyfriend had been hysterical. The look on his face had made her want to laugh but she had refrained wanting to be supportive of him. Watching him trying to justify his protective actions had been totally adorable.

She knew that Joe had been a big part of his life and that he missed his big brother every day. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose your big brother and best friend. But Jamie was her best friend, and the thought of losing him filled her with fear. She honestly couldn’t imagine her life without him.

She loved the way he made her feel. He made her feel so loved and so safe. When she had questioned him about soul-mates she had wanted to know if he believed in the possibility of soulmates because she had been on her way to believing that was what they were.

Every song she heard reminded of Jamie. Every poem or romantic story she heard made her think of him. Every time she saw a couple madly in love on the street she imagined being in the position with Jamie. She knew it was unprofessional, but she couldn’t help it. She had major feelings for Jamie Reagan, and there was no denying it.

Telling him that had been difficult but she had to tell him. It was eating her up. Telling him had made things so much easier for her, like a huge weight off her chest. And hearing him admit that he had feelings for her too had sent excited shivers down her spine.

She agreed with him when he said that they shouldn’t get together because they both loved their partnership. But they were in a difficult position: give up the amazing partnership that they already had for the crazy risk of a future together. Yet the idea of that risk for the opportunity of a life together sounded wonderful, like something worth the risk. Being with Jamie was just the right amount of crazy to make it feel right.

After their conversation she hadn’t been planning on kissing him. But part of her had wanted nothing more than to feel his lips against hers again and knowing that the gentleman in Jamie wouldn’t go for it, she had decided to take matters into her own hands.

As soon as she had pressed her lips to his she had felt his hands gently linking in the small of her back pulling her closer. Her hands grabbing at his hoodie had only encouraged him to deepen the kiss and her hand had found its way up into his hair, holding his lips to hers not wanting the kiss to end. Once again as their lips had parted, their foreheads had fallen together and she had felt an ache in her chest at the thought of ending this moment. Opening her eyes she had looked into his gentle blue eyes and a wave of emotions had rushed through her as she had realised how incredibly risky this was. But once she had started she didn’t want to stop.

Just like she didn’t want to stop right now. She never wanted this moment to end. She loved the feeling of Jamie’s arms around her, swaying gently in time to the music that played gently overhead.

‘And I think to myself

What a wonderful world’

With Jamie it certainly was; a wonderful world indeed.  
She wanted him so bad, but she was terrified of the change that would come with putting a label to their relationship. 

But right here in the safety of his arms, she found herself thinking not only of how happy and content she felt, but also of how she had come to realise over the years that home could sometimes not be a place, but a person.

After all, home is where your heart is.

Once again she thought of that song they had bickered over those lyrics echoed in her mind again.

‘It’s inevitable like you and me’

Smiling she found her head dipping further down onto Jamie’s shoulder as his head rested against hers and she had the sudden realisation that maybe those lyrics were true.

Maybe they were as the lyrics suggested… Inevitable.


	2. A Wonderful World

A Wonderful World

Jamie wondered if Eddie knew how much he savoured this moment. How he had been longing to hold her like this for years. His heart was thumping irregularly from a mixture of nerves and excitement. He honestly couldn’t believe that he was here in this moment. Dancing with Eddie. It felt like a dream as he lowered his head down towards her shoulder, feeling their temples touch and he breathed in that sweet smell from her long blonde hair tickling his cheek.

He remembered the first time he had seen her standing outside of the 12th precinct waiting for his new partner. She had been right when she deduced that he had expected a fat sweaty Hungarian guy so when she introduced herself as Eddie Janko he had found himself stumbling for something to stay. Right from that moment he had been intrigued by her and he had known she was going to really keep him busy after her little quip of 'you're my first Reagan... be gentle.' 

Never had he imagined when he agreed to become a Training Officer to the new recruits that he would be partnered with a spunky, fresh, over eager and very headstrong blonde with the bluest eyes he had ever seen. It had been hard not to keep staring into them that day and every day that had followed.

He had wondered how she would cope with her first ever call out being to the scene of a cop shooting. He had watched her as they drove away from the hospital after finding out that Officer Collins had died. She had been quiet at first but as soon as they arrived back at the scene she had become professional and had patiently followed his lead and listened to his advice.

He remembered sitting in that car with her outside Angelo Reed's apartment. She hadn't been happy about landing that assignment and Jamie hadn't told her that his father had given it to them. She told him her thoughts on that assignment as they had sat there and Jamie had understood where she was coming from... but he also knew how momentous the ramifications would be if something happened to this guy.

When Collins' partner had appeared with a group of his friends he had been surprised that she had come to stand beside him and defend the guy. He knew that must have gone against everything she believed in to protect the guy who had murdered the cop on her first day on the job. He remembered how after the others had left he had turned to look at her and she had stood there watching him and he had then realised that she was loyal. That maybe this partnership might work out for him. That maybe this was what had been missing from his life.

The first time he saw her out of her uniform his breath had caught in his throat. She looked so beautiful walking towards him with her long blonde hair tumbling past her shoulders. In truth he almost hadn't recognised her. She looked so different in street clothes. And as he watched her drive away in that Porsche he felt something inside of him for the first time in a long while. Contentment. It had almost felt like for the first time since Joe had died and Sydney had left him that everything was going to work out. And lord knows it certainly had. 

Their first few weeks had certainly had their ups and downs what with her first arrest nearly costing her the job after her memory played tricks on her. Jamie had known that it was best to keep his distance from her in case she incriminated herself. Not to mention he was also in the hot seat as the police commissioner's son whose trainee partner had conducted a bad arrest. When she had approached him in the street with those pale blue eyes so wide and nervous he knew she was scared and that was why she lashed out at him. The stress and worry had made him lash back because this woman really did drive him crazy. There was no doubt about that. After advising her to keep her head down and her mouth shut he had watched her walk away. That was when he had realised that he didn’t want to lose her as a partner. 

She certainly made things a lot more fun than they had been with his training officer Renzulli or with Vinnie who had been a little too laid back for Jamie to really relax on the street. But Eddie. She was a ball of energy and huge smiles and a quirky sense of humour. Within days she knew how to push his buttons. Like when they went undercover in the jewellery store with her little quirk of 'Aren't I worth it lamb chop.' He remembered looking up at her cheeky grin and just thinking 'dear god this girl is going to drive me crazy.'  
Jamie had thought it would be an easy assignment. A whole bunch of them had been assigned to various jewellery stores around the area where the two robbers had been at large. Chances had been he and Eddie would be stuck in a store that wouldn’t be the one to get robbed. And to a point he had been right. Unfortunately their 'quiet easy tour' had become a hostage situation with an overly emotional and distressed gunman who waved the gun around with a shaking hand that had made Jamie worried that he might accidentally pull the trigger.

Eddie had held her cool surprisingly well in that situation. Hearing her say 'My boyfriend's a lawyer' had sent excited shivers down his spine. At the time he thought it was shock and adrenaline. But now he knew it had been excitement. With a small sense of longing at the thought of being her boyfriend. She had been cool and collected though a little eager to pull out her gun. But she had listened to Jamie and he had been impressed at how she had gotten him talking, helping him learn more about this man and distracting him whilst Jamie formulated a plan.

She was tough, yes, but that didn’t mean Jamie hadn't seen her with her walls down. Like the time when she had gone on that disastrous date with Jake Singer. Jamie knew as soon as he had found out that she had called in sick that something was wrong. He hadn't known what it was at the time but he had this gut feeling that Eddie needed him. He tried to ignore it all morning, telling himself she was an independent grown woman who didn’t need him. But eventually he hadn't been able to stop himself from calling her just wanting to hear her voice assuring him that she was ok and that it was just a stomach bug. But she hadn't answered his call. Nor the second. Nor the third. So he had gone to her apartment and tried to get in to see her. But she hadn't answered her doorbell nor her phone when he called for the fourth time. So he left her that message telling her he was going to keep calling till she answered. 

Three calls later and her phone had shut off. That was when he had slipped into the apartment building with one of the other tenants and headed up to her floor pounding on the door until he had bribed her to open up hearing all the locks slide slowly open.

It had been like a punch to the gut when she appeared covered in bruises and cuts, looking messy and dishevelled, such a change from her usually well-kept self that Jamie had instantly known what had happened. He hadn't bought her 'I got in a car accident on the way home' excuse for one second. He knew someone had hit her and had been worried about what to do when she had slammed the door in his face.

The next day her phone had rung on and on and he watched her get tenser and tenser with each ring. Once he had stolen the number and run it through the system he had gotten another gut punch when he had seen that the man she had gone on a date with had been arrested for 1st degree rape. He felt such anger inside of him at the thought of someone hurting his beautiful and sweet partner. His heart had ached as he listened to her tell him what had happened with her voice wavering and threatening to break. He fought to quell the rage inside of him as he gently tried to encourage her to come forward. It hadn't been easy. He had told Eddie that he had been outside Jake Singer's apartment because he had suspected she might go there in an attempt to even the score but that wasn’t the truth. He had really gone there with the same intention as Eddie. He wanted to beat the crap out of that guy for laying a hand on Eddie. It had only been his moral compass and his heart having an internal debate keeping him dithering outside when he saw Eddie's little Porsche pull up and he had instantly hidden, watching, praying that she would make the right choice and go home. 

Persuading her to come forward had been hard, especially when the last of her strong walls had come tumbling down and she had broken. It had taken a lot of willpower not to just gather her into his arms there and then protect her from harm. He had been proud of how strong she had been when they had gone to arrest Singer. She hadn't shown any signs of weakness but had shown enough compassion to the girl he had been with to make him realise that she wasn’t going to just hide behind a wall.

That night he had taken her out to Anton's and watched her devour the biggest plate of ribs in the world and as the night went on he had watched her relax and slowly her smile had become more and more genuine until any trace of the ghosts had disappeared. He had known it wouldn't be a permanent fix... but he was glad to have helped her smile again... even if it was only for a little while. He hated seeing her upset and in pain. He never wanted to see her get hurt again. Which was what made being on the job with her so hard sometimes. It was why he was so damn protective of her.

However there were times when protecting her had been the only thing on his mind. Screw the job. He would have broken a dozen laws to keep her safe and he could remember those incidents very well.

The first time had been when he tried to help that girl and had ended up the target of her controlling ex-boyfriend who wanted to punish him for trying to help her. He had thought nothing of it until the Molotov cocktail had been thrown through the window setting him on fire. Even with the shock and pain running through him and the blood pounding in his ears he could still hear her yells and had made his first priority yelling at her to get out of the car before scrambling out himself. As he had tried to put the fire out he had felt her hands grabbing at him as she yelled for him to move and he had obeyed, diving behind the dumpster with her seconds before their RMP had exploded.

Even though he had known she was just collateral damage it had been hard not to worry about her on the street as he sat cooped up in his apartment watching infomercials, too preoccupied with his thoughts to watch anything else. 

He wondered if she had sensed his thoughts were on her when she appeared at his door with lunch. He had been relieved to see her and had quickly fallen back into their usual routine of teasing and quipping each other as she made herself at home on his couch. He hadn't been able to stop looking and marvel at the sight of her sitting munching away at the food she had brought looking very content. He remembered thinking about this could be a permanent thing if he would just admit his feelings to her. This could be how they spent their days off, with takeout on the couch watching ESPN together joking and laughing. But he hadn't admitted it then... he had just gathered up his food and sat beside her quietly, allowing her to do all the talking, as he just sat and listened loving the sound of her voice.

Then she had been taken by Russell Price. When his brother voiced his concerns he had felt his blood run cold and he hightailed it out of that precinct as though the hounds of hell were after him.

He struggled not to panic the entire drive over to the garage that Danny had told him about. He found himself praying to god that nothing happened to Eddie. He had already lost so many people in his life. He couldn’t lose another.

He had arrived seconds after Danny and even though the car was already at a standstill he hadn't been able to resist smashing his car into Price's, furious at what he had done. And yes that had earned him many quips from Eddie for the next week that he had totalled two RMPs in a week and that they were lucky they weren't on permanent foot patrol.

As he scrambled out of the car he had almost been paralysed by the fear that they might already be too late. That Eddie might already be dead. He could have cried in relief when he looked into the back of the car and had seen her lying in the foot well looking dazed and stunned, shifting weakly in an attempt to free herself from the tape that held her tightly bound, but all he had cared about was that she was alive.

As he freed her from her bonds he had barely been able to keep the fear out of his voice as he had demanded to know that she was ok. She had said she was and then of course in a very Eddie way had stubbornly refused to remain where she was. She had scrambled out of the car before falling against him as her legs had given out on her. He had caught her before she had fallen too far and sat her against the wrecked RMP keeping a firm hold on her. Almost as firm as the grip she had on his shirt as she sat there breathing heavily.

He had been glad that she had been clinging to him because he had been struggling to let go of her. So he slumped down beside her keeping one arm round her as his other hand snuck into hers as it fell away from his shoulder and she gripped his hand tightly. Together they sat there breathing heavily struggling to come to terms with the fact that it was over and that they were both ok.

He had gone with her to the hospital and stayed with her at every point that he was allowed. When she had been released and had needed someone to monitor her for a concussion that night he hadn't hesitated to volunteer, still feeling slightly guilty that he had gotten her into that mess in the first place even if she did keep assuring him that it wasn’t his fault.

He had stayed over at her apartment that night to monitor her for a concussion. She had been quiet at first and had just sat there quietly watching the TV before she eventually began to speak, quietly at first… telling him what had happened. How he had snatched her from the street, placing a hand over her mouth, dragging her backwards, hitting her over the head, stunning her long enough for him to bind her limbs and gag her.

Jamie had let her tell him everything realising that she needed to get it all off her chest. Once she finished she had looked a lot better and a lot more like herself than she had when they had left the hospital.

After that it had become a normal evening for them. Pizza and movies all night and when she returned to work a few days later everything had gone back to normal.

The other time he had feared for her life had been a few months later when she had decided to go undercover. He hadn’t wanted her to go undercover. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her but he didn’t want to see her go undercover in a sex trafficking ring where she would be killed if they figured out she was a cop.

When he had gone to her the day before her assignment he hadn't meant to make it sound like she couldn’t handle herself. After over a year together on the streets he knew she could take care of herself but he knew how dangerous those undercover operations could be, especially when they were thrown together fast like hers and there was little time to prepare. Then she told him the story of her mother and he had known as soon as she planted her feet to look at him that she wasn’t going to back down from this. So he begrudgingly accepted it and made sure that his brother knew that he was going to be coming along. Danny hadn't protested much. Smartest thing he had ever done in Jamie's opinion.

When her wire got pulled out and Danny wouldn’t take the van he had been fuming at his brother. This was his partner in danger, not Danny's. Why had he been willing to risk leaving her in there without any sound? He hadn't missed the look between Danny and Baez after he had angrily told his brother 'You had better get her out' but in the moment too caught up in his worry over Eddie's safety he hadn't questioned what they were thinking. It was only in the aftermath that he had suddenly realised that he sounded like an overprotective boyfriend.

As soon as Eddie's tracker had stopped moving he had harped on at Danny until his brother had agreed to raid the building as soon as they arrived. Jamie had barely been able to contain himself as they had all geared up. He knew how fast things could go wrong and every second that Eddie was alone in that building with the kidnappers was a second too long.

When they had broken down the door all hell had broken loose with bullets flying and girls screaming, but that hadn't stopped him yelling his partner's name desperate to hear her voice. Each time his calls went unanswered he found himself imagining the worst once again. He feared that they had already discovered that she was a cop and had killed her without a moment's hesitation. Maybe that is why with his thoughts preoccupied with those terrifying mental images the leader was able to sneak up on him and he hadn't seen her hands go behind her back to grab a gun. 

Seeing Eddie come flying out yelling angrily had been such a relief. She looked so angry and beautiful at the same time. She was a real force to be reckoned with when she was mad. He knew that. And he would never admit how much he liked hearing her speak Serbian. Knowing that she was ok had allowed him to start breathing again... he hadn't even realised that he had been holding his breath until he saw her again. He was proud of how well she had done on that assignment and hadn't been able to hide smirk when he learned that she had knocked one of them out with a toilet top. 

The smile had faltered slightly when he had learned what the guy had been trying to do to her before she had taken him out and he had been sure to check with her once they were on their way home that she was ok and that no horrible Singer related memories had been brought to the surface. She had assured him that she was fine but still invited him in for a quick drink before sending him on his way. He had watched her like a hawk until he realised that she was ok and that she was just happy with the lives she had managed to save. He hadn’t admitted to her that he had been scared the entire time she had been missing. He didn’t admit how the thought of never seeing her again terrified him or that he had been cursing himself for not admitting before then that he loved her. He could have told her then but after nearly losing her when he wasn’t there beside her had made him realise that he didn’t want to lose her as a partner.

He wanted nothing more than to protect her. Even though she certainly didn’t always need his protection. Like the time when they had responded to the domestic dispute and the guy had knocked Eddie off of her feet. Seeing her get shoved to the floor like that had angered him and all he could think was that she might be hurt. And that usually carefully monitored rage broke free and he had flown at the guy. He barely remembered the incident. He had just seen a whole lot of red as he slammed his fist into the guy’s face over and over again furious that he had hurt his partner and best friend. The next thing he knew Eddie was laying into him for making her look like she couldn’t handle herself and then Renzulli was dragging him into his office and accusing him of having romantic feelings for Eddie.

The accusation shocked him, making him immediately deny it even if there was that nagging little voice inside of him saying maybe the Sergeant was right. Maybe he did have feelings for Eddie. He had always known that he had found her attractive and enjoyed spending time with her. But was that love? 

He wasn’t the first person to accuse him of that either. When Dana had flown in she immediately assumed that he had feelings for Eddie. Which had been a very weird conversation to have whilst lying naked in her hotel room with her half on top of him. But as he had lain there he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about how beautiful Eddie had looked last night when she had joined him and Dana at the bar and how quick she was to start quips with him about their job. That had been the first time he had realised how close he and Eddie actually were: when he realised that Dana, who had known him for years, didn’t know he was allergic to olives, while Eddie, after only six months, knew so much more about him. 

Her smile had been dazzling as they joked together and when she had gone up to the bar even though a beautiful woman sat right in front of him, his eyes automatically drifted after Eddie and he had to fight to keep his attention on Dana whilst Eddie was chatting to another guy.

Then there had been Spencer who had been a good friend and asked his permission to ask Eddie out first checking that he didn’t have feelings for her. Jamie said it was ok even though he felt a twinge of jealously inside him at the thought of his best friend getting to take Eddie out on a date. But he knew that nothing could happen between them so he denied any feelings for her and passed along the message to Eddie. He hadn’t known what to say when she suggested a double date with her friend Hayley. He hadn’t known how he was going to be able to focus on another girl when Eddie would be there.

It had been hard. Especially with Eddie. Flirty banter came so easily to them. They teased each other so often that before they knew it they were focused on each other and as she stood in front of him reeling off a list of drinks that she wanted. She looked like an angel to Jamie with that beautiful smile and her sparkling blue eyes and her long golden hair tumbling around her shoulders in large curls.

Since Spencer and Hayley were heading in the same direction, Jamie hadn’t hesitated to offer to walk Eddie home. It felt like just another normal day for them… walking together just bickering playfully with each other as they walked down the street. 

He didn’t know how they ended up bickering over song lyrics but the next thing he knew she was singing to him.

‘It’s inevitable like you and me’

She looked so beautiful smiling up at him with her hair almost glowing in the lamplight. Jamie hadn’t been able to stop smiling at her. He remembered the two of them coming closer and smelling the sweet smell of her perfume.

As their foreheads had fallen together he had felt his heart skip a beat as he had followed her moves until the next thing he knew their lips were gently meeting. Her lips were soft against his as her hands slid up his chest, gripping at his leather jacket, pulling him close, encouraging him to gently link around in the small of her back, holding her against him.  
When the kiss ended he wanted nothing more than to pull her lips back to his and kiss her again but he refrained himself and allowed their foreheads to fall together and he felt Eddie’s hand on his chest and he wondered if she could feel his heart pounding as much as he could.

When she had opened her eyes, he could see her searching his eyes wanting to know what to do and in that moment two possibilities had flown around in his mind. The possibility of going up to her apartment with her and continue what they had been doing moments before where they could do the thing he had been trying not to imagine doing with his beautiful partner. Or he could do the right thing. The respectable thing and get her to go to her apartment whilst he went back to his and try and forget that he had kissed his partner.

He knew he had made the right choice telling her to go back inside even if he hated the almost hurt look on her face as she turned away and he hated walking away on what might have been his only chance with Eddie. But he had come to love the years that followed that kiss with Eddie by his side every day as his partner.

He remembered going to see Erin after his conversation with Renzulli, confused by his feelings towards Eddie. He had wanted his sister to laugh with him and joke about the idea of him having feelings for Eddie. But then she said 'so you do have feelings for her' and he felt the confusion arise all over again. He thought his long list of Eddie's many annoyances might have made it seem like he didn’t but then Erin said that everything he had just told her made Eddie sound like exactly his type. He had never actually considered that he had a type but thinking about it Erin was right. He did like bossy and opinionated women. And Eddie was nothing if not incredibly bossy and massively opinionated. He liked that about her. He also liked how she could certainly take care of herself.

She was certainly handy with her ASP. Everyone always commented on their flawless partnership. How they seemed to know exactly what to do with minimal instruction to one another. Like when they had taken down the guy with the machete. With two words he had managed to inform her of his plan and take down the guy with no injuries. People always asked him how they had built such an amazing partnership and he always told them the same thing.

Trust.

He trusted Eddie with his life. Never before had he been so in sync with a partner. He trusted her to understand and trust his gut just as she trusted him to never ask her to do something she wouldn’t agree with. Their trust in each other was what made them so great. It was also what had helped form what could only be described as the best friendship he had ever had.

He loved his friendship with Eddie. He wouldn’t change it for the world. He knew her better than he knew himself just as she seemed to do with him. She knew all about him and his family. He told her things he wouldn’t tell his brother or sister and she did the same with him. They were so close and there was no one else he would rather hang out with all day at work and then go straight out to drinks with afterwards. Time spent with Eddie flew by. He really wished it didn’t though. He wanted each second to drag so that he could savour each one like a precious diamond. He wanted to be able to remember every smile, every laugh, every glance. He wanted to remember every time her eyes sparkled and every time that her hair seemed to glow golden in the lights. He wanted to remember every time their eyes met and he got to stare into those hypnotic pale blue eyes that without fail made him feel like he was falling every time he looked into them.

When Erin brought up how much they hung out together he had been confused, ready to protest that she was just his best friend. But what she said about him looking to spend more time together had made him stop and realise that she was right. He did crave more time with Eddie and what time he had with her never felt like enough. An eternity with her would still leave him desperately searching for more time with her.

It wasn’t like she seemed to protest about spending time with him. She constantly tagged along with him places that she didn’t have to go. Like when he had told her he might be slightly late into work because he had to go to Nicki's college to talk to one of her friends about threats, she had offered to tag along. 'You never know she might want to talk so another girl rather than a man' she had told him. He hadn't protested and had picked her up on his way to the college. Nicki hadn't even been surprised to see her with him. She had just grinned at the pair of them as they clambered out of his car and led them off to find her friend.

Inviting her to the wedding had been a spur of the moment decision on his part. After hearing the truth about her having feelings for him, he wanted to spend some time with her away from the city, away from where they might be recognised together. He wanted to spend time with her in a context that they weren't used to. His old friend's wedding had seemed like the perfect excuse.

She invited him places too. He often got texts from her inviting him to breakfast before their shift or to go for walks on their days off that always ended at some sort of food joint because lord knows she had an appetite and he was constantly in awe of where she put it all. He still wasn’t sure how she had managed to persuade him to go into a psychic shop with her. He was beginning to think she might have some sort of power over him. He was putty in her hands and to be honest he wasn’t even complaining. He would do anything to see her smile and that light in her eyes. He would do anything for her. 

But was that true? Would he do anything for her when he had been too afraid to admit his feelings for her until after she had admitted her own? He spend hours imagining how their life would be together. Lazy mornings cuddled up in bed together chasing kisses over her smooth skin whilst her hands with trace through his hair like they had when they had last kissed. Then obviously a big breakfast together because he knew how to keep her happy. Evenings at some of their local hangouts with their friends playing beer pong and darts with pitchers of beer and plates of greasy food. Tuesdays spent at Anton’s eating ribs and laughing together. Evenings snuggled up together on the couch watching movies but never quite making it to the end when they both fell asleep or watching sports together. Sunday dinners with her beside him, sitting next to his grandfather. Sunday dinners with everyone he loved in one room.

He had thought too much about it. He knew that for sure. He loved her without reason but couldn’t admit that to her. Why? Because he was scared of losing her. She was like a drug to him and lord he was addicted to her. There wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about Eddie Janko. He loved her. And he was a fool for not acting on those feelings. 

The truth was though, he wasn’t just scared. He was terrified. His brother had been killed on the job, the brother whom he had loved the most and idolised growing up. Then his last partner had died in his arms and he had been forced to watch him bleed out whilst there was nothing he could do to save him. He had already lost one loved one and one partner to the streets of New York. He couldn’t lose another. And Eddie was definitely both a loved one and a partner. Call him selfish but he liked being there to protect her. But was he sacrificing their future together all because he was too afraid to let her walk the beat with someone else?

And so he was forced to watch her go on dates with other men and try and act positive whenever she brought them up. It was hard to smile and act happy for her when it was killing him to see her with someone else. Even if that agony was self inflicted.

But he did so because she was his best friend. And he couldn’t imagine his life without her. It was like he had no self control when he was with her and would do anything to help and please her.

They helped each other out all the time whether they liked it or not. She was a great sounding board for him when Danny or Erin pissed him off at Sunday dinner. She was always willing to let him vent at her before she offered her own thoughts on the situation. She didn't always side with him. As much as it did sometimes annoy him, he did appreciate because it allowed him to get a fresh perspective on the situation.

He was always willing to help her out even if she did give him grief about it. Such as the time she had shot and killed someone for the first time. He had known exactly what she had been going though and what it felt like to know that you were responsible for taking another person's life. She had been torn up, he knew, and didn’t blame her for lashing out at everybody and in truth he was glad when she didn’t come into work one day. She had been so determined to move on from the shooting that she hadn't taken any time to grieve for herself and knew that she would be doing plenty of that when she was at home. Which was why he had turned up with her favourite pizza that evening wanting to make sure that she was ok.

He hated that she felt guilty for taking that man's life. He hated the idea of her being so consumed by the guilt that she couldn’t cry. Which is why he gently took her in his arms wanting her to know that she wasn’t alone and that everything was going to be ok. When she asked him to stay with her that night he had tried hard not to read into it knowing that wasn’t what she meant. Hearing her say 'I need you' had warmed his heart and he had been quick to promise her 'I'm not going anywhere.'

Somehow his promise had opened up the floodgates and soon she had been crying freely into his shoulder as her hand snuck into his and she burrowed herself into his chest. He held her the entire night allowing her to cry and cry until eventually she fell asleep in his arms. Even then he didn’t move, he just continued to hold her trying not to savour the moment too much because he had been dreaming of holding her like this for over a year now. He tried not to think of that. He just tried to think about what she needed. And right then she needed him to hold her. She needed the security of his embrace and all he wanted was for her to feel safe. Because he had meant what he said. He wasn’t going anywhere until she was ready for him to.

He hadn't slept much because he had been worried that she might start dreaming about the event like he had after his first shooting. Thankfully she hadn't and when she had awoken she had seemed surprised that he was still there. He let her decide what she had wanted to do and when she had chosen to go back to work that day he had supported her. Even though she had been a bit shaky for the first few hours soon they had gone back to normal and their unbreakable partnership had carried on from there.

The other time he had been desperate to help her had been the time her father had been hospitalised. He could tell she had been so angry and upset at her father for how he had hurt her but he knew that she missed her dad.

She had been confused by how persistent he had been about helping her figure out what had happened to her father. He remembered her sitting there beside him and asking ‘Jamie why are you doing this’

He remembered when she had first told him why she didn’t want to go visit her father. ‘When you believe in someone completely and they let you down…. It messes with you… you start to question your own judgement and it’s like…it’s like I can’t trust myself… it’s like I can’t trust anyone.”

So he stared at her and from the bottom of his heart, he had spoken the truth; ‘because I don’t want to let you down’

She looked so shocked and amazed as though she couldn’t believe that someone was actually willing to stick up and fight for her. Jamie had just known that he meant every word he said to her and he hoped she knew that too. She had been let down by her father and he knew that had hurt her. Which was why he hated watching her in the relationships where she was let down over and over again.

Not long after they had met there had been that guy who had asked her for a booty call rather than a second date. Even back then Jamie had wondered what kind of fool had decided that Eddie wasn’t worth the effort of courting. 

He remembered the guy who had broken up with her because he had thought she was too demanding. When she asked him if he thought she was too demanded he was almost relieved that they found that dead body there and then, before he had to answer yes he thought she was demanding but that it was one of the things that he really loved about her. It had been very satisfying to snatch her phone and text the guy telling him that it had been over as Eddie scrambled all over him trying to get her phone back. He loved play fighting in the street with her, just messing around like teenagers.

Then there had been Sergeant Langley taking advantage of her. Jamie had known there was something up with Eddie as soon as she started ducking her turns with him on patrol. When he had heard about him kissing her he had been scared that Eddie would get hurt by him which was why he had pushed on and on at her until she told him what had happened. In truth he had been frightened that Eddie would tell him that Langley had abused his position to coerce her into having sex with him. Which was why he continued to press her about it even after she told him to leave it alone. He tried to hide how smug he felt when he had told Langley to get a transfer to Staten Island; far far away from Eddie and those other women he had coerced. Where he couldn’t abuse his power ever again.

Now there was Josh. Jamie had to admit Josh seemed ok. Well as ok as a guy could be when he was dating the girl you had feelings for. Jamie could see that he seemed to be very respectful of Eddie but to be honest he didn’t see what Eddie saw in him. Or was that just jealousy over the fact that he had something that he couldn’t have? He hated seeing Eddie with him but at the same time he hoped that Josh wouldn’t break Eddie’s already battered heart.

Of course there had been others and Jamie had forced himself not to get jealous every time she talked about her dates and guys she liked. He just tried to support her, like best friends were supposed to do. But it was so hard.

He tried hard not to get protective of her when she was around guys and he had to fight hard not to get jealous. He did worry that people like Ray Langley were beginning to be able to see through his charade of 'Officer Eddie Janko is my partner and that is all there is to it.' He repeated that to himself like a mantra every time he felt the jealously flair up.

Though this jealously didn’t seem to be an occurrence on just his side of their 'whatever this thing we have here is' relationship. On more than one occasion had he wondered if Eddie was jealous of the couple of relationships he had attempted.

He remembered when they had met that bike messenger Maya and she had given him her number. He remembered Eddie teasing him about him being able to talk to a girl with no help from her whilst her hand had patted at his arm and his chest as though she were marking her territory which had of course confused him. And when he had called the number Maya had given him and it had turned out to be the number of a Chinese restaurant he hadn’t missed the almost pleased smirk on her face. 

Then there had been Dana. It had been weird to kiss his friend in front of Eddie and even more weird when they arrived at the bar after the lawyer shindig and Eddie had come over looking so beautiful that Jamie had had to fight so hard to keep his attention on Dana when Eddie practically glowed. He hadn’t been able to stop his gaze from moving to Eddie when she had moved up to the bar. The evening had been fun but Jamie hadn’t known who to look at all night.

The next morning when he had been lying there with Dana he had been confused by how she seemed very fixated on discussing his feelings for Eddie and then later that day when he and Eddie had been sat in the car on their lunch break, Eddie had started talking about how great Dana had been. Jamie had been so confused by how both women had seemed intent on complimenting one another. Joking about her not being his type had been the easiest thing in the moment but internally he had been wondering exactly what his type was. Before then he had thought he had known. But ever since he had met Eddie he wasn’t so sure.

Then there had been Dr Jen. Eddie had given him so much whiplash when he had been with Dr Jen. She had been the one to tell him to flirt with her but as soon as she found out that he had actually gone on a date with her she immediately started acting jealous. He had no idea how to react to her response especially when she had switched up their partnership.

He had been hurt which was why he accused her of being jealous. As soon as the words slipped out he had known that had been a bad idea and he had seen anger flash up in her eyes before she stormed off muttering ‘jackass’ just loud enough for him to hear.

He had known he messed up which was why he had gone to the bar that night to try and apologise. When he said he was sorry for accusing her of being jealous and she said ‘what if I was’ his heart had started jumping around he had tried to figure out what to say to her that would allow her to decide where this went because he had no clue what to do. 

Not that either of those relationships had lasted long. He would never admit it to Eddie but he couldn’t go out on dates with women because every time he did he could barely get his thoughts off of her and wished that the woman he was with was his beautiful partner with whom his relationship was… well how did he describe it?

‘This thing we have here is kinda undefined… and we’re flying without the instruments or at least I am.’

Understatement of the century. He wasn’t flying. He was falling. Every hour, every minute that he spent with Eddie meant that he was falling further down the rabbit hole and he now knew that there was no way out of this for him without being seriously hurt. He just wanted to minimise other people getting hurt which was why he kept the dating to a minimum. 

After they had saved Mike and Jamie had told the story of how he and Sydney had broken up Eddie had seemed to think it was just a story until he told her the truth about what had happened to him and Sydney. She had been shocked and demanded to know if he was still in love with Sydney quite ferociously and Jamie had been confused about why she was so desperate to know why he didn’t date before she asked ‘yeah you just waiting for your soulmate?’

‘What’s wrong with that’ he asked almost indignantly because in truth yes he was waiting for his soulmate. The soulmate whom he had already met. The soulmate who had already confronted him about whether or not he believed in soulmates. The soulmate who had been sat across from him staring up at him with those big blue eyes demanding answers.

Then there had been that thing with Tara last week. He had been surprised at how angry she seemed when she discovered that he had let Tara stay at his apartment. She had been so annoyed and he hoped that she would have calmed by the next day but she just sat and sulked in the car, barely speaking to him. Once again he had accused her of being jealous. He hadn’t realised that he was actually right. 

When she came to his apartment that night, he had been so shocked when she suddenly told him the truth about her feelings for him.

‘I have feelings for you. I have for a long time. There I said it. I do everything that I can to make them go away because I mean you are not even close to my type. You are a complete boy scout. You make me crazy most of the time. You’re also the best person I think I have ever met and you’re the best friend that I have ever had’

Jamie thought his heart was going to burst through his chest as he listened to that. He thought that he was going to have to pinch himself to prove that he wasn’t dreaming. That this was actually happening. That the woman he had been crushing on for years was actually admitting that she had feelings for him.

Coming forward after that had been easier once he knew that his feelings weren’t unrequited.

‘Cards on the table… I have feelings for you too. I think you know that…’

Adding ‘but we’ve been down that road before and it’s a bad idea for a lot of reasons’ had been his attempt to make it seem like he wanted to remain partners like she had hinted. In truth he was torn. He loved his partnership with Eddie but he couldn’t deny that he wanted more from their friendship too.

When Eddie kissed him he had been slightly shocked as her lips smashed against his but that hadn't stopped him catching hold of her in the small of her back and pulling her closer to him as their kiss intensified. He felt her hands grab at his hoodie, encouraging him to lean deeper into the kiss. Then her hands were in his hair, holding him to her as though she too didn’t want the kiss to end. He was too much of a gentleman to admit that he had been wanting to kiss her again ever since their first kiss, her first year on the force and he would never admit how delighted he was that she had initiated another kiss. He held her close, savouring the moment and praying for it to never end. But of course they couldn’t stay in that moment forever so eventually their lips had parted. Too caught up in the moment to end it then, though, his forehead fell forward, pressing against hers. He wondered then if she could feel his heart jumping around, feeling like it might burst out of his chest.

Eventually he opened his eyes to stare at her, wondering if she was as confused by what had just happened as he was. There were so many questions dancing around in his head. She too had opened her eyes, staring up at him with those blue eyes, causing him to question all of his morals. Every time he stared into them he felt like he was falling. Falling deeper in love with his best friend.

Once again he thought back to their first kiss and the song they had been bickering over, specifically the lyrics that Eddie had sung to him that night.

'We don't need a fortune teller with a crystal ball.   
To tell us in the autumn that the leaves are gonna fall.   
Or if the evening sun will slip into the sea  
It's inevitable  
Like you and me.'

Were they really just delaying what was inevitable?

Jamie didn’t dwell on that thought. Come what may, as long as he still had Eddie in his life he didn’t care what happened. 'But then again' he thought as he swayed to the music overhead with his beautiful partner pressed against his chest as he listened to the lyrics, it was hard to imagine his life without Eddie and he often found himself wondering what their life might be like together as more than just cop partners. After all he was beginning to suspect that not only was Eddie his best friend but that she was his soul mate. That she was his whole world. 

And as long as they were together; what a wonderful world it was.


End file.
